Recently, I’ve quit my job, and have been trying to learn a new field, with plans towards a bit of a lateral career shift after 16 years as a Financial Software Engineer.
This has caused a fair bit of soul searching, because as it turns out, learning new things is hard.
The first things to conquer were the fear of looking stupid, and persevering without that feeling of mastery. It’s frustrating, but not unexpected, when it comes to learning something new.
Today, I wanted to talk about another roadblock that I’m coming to grips with. I remember when I was much younger, I would absorb new material with ease. Now that I’m doing it as a mini-mid-life crisis, it feels like I’m forcing it, and it takes much more effort. There was a time when I thought I’d lost my “spark”, or at least had replaced fluid intelligence with crystalized intelligence. I eventually realized though that’s not true. I’m basically as sharp as ever, but instead I have a differe a mental roadblock to deal with:
The thing is, I’m more complete a person right now. As a youngster, I was far more willing to obsess over something or make it a core part of my identity. Then work on it far more than is healthy or sensible. Now, I feel I have ties to a dozen different areas – my career, my hobbies, my relationships. Each of these demands time and focus.
I see the same pattern when it comes to learning languages. Children learn languages very well, even outside of the critical period. There have been studies showing this is is because they simply sink ungodly amounts of time into learning. I’ve been revising German as an adult via Duo Lingo for 3 years. But 5 minutes a day for that period adds up to a term or two of school lessons, excluding any homework. It’s no surprise that I’ve made no progress with that sort of dedication.
I’ll probably never be cracked at something new, same as how I’ll never reach native level fluency at German.
So am I essentially arguing for a form of agism, then applying it against myself? That I’m saying that even if you have the same energy, intellect and time as a youth, you are unlikely to be as devoted to something new? That I’ve become cynical, instead of passionate?
I think not. Instead, my mental model is that of a super-tanker. Now that I am a bit older (though not that old!), my hull is stocked with precious resources. I’m used to spending on time on things, and that gives a certain momentum to winding down one thing and doing another. Turning is not something to be taken lightly when you’ve spent so much fuel getting up to speed in one direction. But perhaps it is more valuable to arrive with goods at the right destination, but late, than it is to arrive elsewhere, or arrive empty handed.