Recently, I’ve quit my job, and have been trying to learn a new field, with plans towards a bit of a lateral career shift after 16 years as a Financial Software Engineer.
This has caused a fair bit of soul searching, because as it turns out, learning new things is hard.
The first things to conquer were the fear of looking stupid, and persevering without that feeling of mastery. It’s frustrating, but not unexpected, when it comes to learning something new.
Today, I wanted to talk about another roadblock that I’m coming to grips with. I remember when I was much younger, I would absorb new material with ease. Now that I’m doing it as a mini-mid-life crisis, it feels like I’m forcing it, and it takes much more effort. There was a time when I thought I’d lost my “spark”, or at least had replaced fluid intelligence with crystalized intelligence. I eventually realized though that’s not true. I’m basically as sharp as ever, but instead I have a differe a mental roadblock to deal with:
The thing is, I’m more complete a person right now. As a youngster, I was far more willing to obsess over something or make it a core part of my identity. Then work on it far more than is healthy or sensible. Now, I feel I have ties to a dozen different areas – my career, my hobbies, my relationships. Each of these demands time and focus.
I see the same pattern when it comes to learning languages. Children learn languages very well, even outside of the critical period. There have been studies showing this is is because they simply sink ungodly amounts of time into learning. I’ve been revising German as an adult via Duo Lingo for 3 years. But 5 minutes a day for that period adds up to a term or two of school lessons, excluding any homework. It’s no surprise that I’ve made no progress with that sort of dedication.
I’ll probably never be cracked at something new, same as how I’ll never reach native level fluency at German.
So am I essentially arguing for a form of agism, then applying it against myself? That I’m saying that even if you have the same energy, intellect and time as a youth, you are unlikely to be as devoted to something new? That I’ve become cynical, instead of passionate?
I think not. Instead, my mental model is that of a super-tanker. Now that I am a bit older (though not that old!), my hull is stocked with precious resources. I’m used to spending on time on things, and that gives a certain momentum to winding down one thing and doing another. Turning is not something to be taken lightly when you’ve spent so much fuel getting up to speed in one direction. But perhaps it is more valuable to arrive with goods at the right destination, but late, than it is to arrive elsewhere, or arrive empty handed.
Good Morning, Boris!
I came for an old article about “Marching Squares” and then stayed for this entry, after looking for “what other nice resources this Boris guy might have in petto?”.
The reason being that I find myself in a very similar situation. Though I am not able to describe it a neatly as you did, I also see that my year-and-something at Duolingo has not given me as much boost in Italian as I would have wanted. But it was enough to order a fine cup of cappuccino in a bar in Venezia and then complain about it being too hot. So I guess the 5 minutes a day have been of some use.
Just before I put your site up today morning, my wife came down the stairs to find me at the laptop and ask me if I plan to spend more time at the computer today. My time is also very limited and I have many hobbies, that do not tie together too well. So my progress at any of these suffers the same problem that you describe for yourself. The 5 minutes at the piano and the 5 minutes at the 3D printer and the 5 minutes doing woodworking and the 5 minutes programming and … they do not amount to much at the end of another year gone by.
I also feel like my progress at any one of my pursuits has all but halted. But maybe that is okay? I have spent time to think about what hobby to drop completely in order to have more time for the remaining ones and have yet to make a decision. Until then it is probably OK to not make huge leaps in these hobbies and remain at the level where the knowledge possessed is just being put to use to produce things that have already been built or music being played before.
These are hobbies after all and since I will have to provide for my family’s living for quite some time that will always be the priority and cannot be dropped.
But maybe one day we can return to doing more of the things we would love to do and less of what we have to do.
“A vision of a swinging chair on a porch and ice-tea on a table appears”
Dave
Thanks for the response, it’s reassuring to know we all have similar concerns.
A lot of familiar reflections here. Coming out of the pandemic I was feeling in uneasyness in my body and mind. I startet to take stock in the things I was doing daily. Asking myself why I were doing them. And it was an uncomfortable amount that boiled down to just habit. Habits that hadn’t changed even if life situation changed resulting in a lot of things that really felt forced.
I found that time was also a major factor. It becomes an increasing constraint. And I realised it also made me less patient when doing my hobbies/projects or trying something new. Couple that with two decades of working you also build up an expectation of bein an expert, even while doing something you never done before. Results becomes a strong focus instead of the journey. And that is one thing I think that was easier on younger age; enjoying the journey.
I’ve the last few years tried to be conscious about my time. Priorities friends, family and health first. They are so important and something that require more maintenance as you get older. (In younger days you naturally socialise and make/keep connections because of the educational environment)
When I then do a hobby project I try to stick to one. One I can make slow and steady progress on. I also picked up a guitar, just for the sake of learning the journey. Knowing I’ll never be an expert.
(2435 days into learning German, and I still wouldn’t be able to carry even a basic conversation. )